Suddenly...

Just had a gathering with the baoguan's ppl...
erm... lot's of "lau rens" and only some from my batch...
din really warm up towards them.... (cant help it since i'm rather slow in warming up)
but it's still nice to see them after like close to 1yr ago??

the lau rens are still as li hai as before...
i mean after so many years, i still feel like a 小妹妹 compared to them...
no doubt one of the reasons is that they're working (one of them had even become mom!)
and me, i'm still studying..
but the way they talk about things... the sort of insights etc. that they had...
i dun feel and see myself of such quality...

WHY???

hahaha... suddenly after 1 meet up with them.
i feel tired.
it's probably even more mind straining than my usual project meeting.
dun get me wrong... it's really nice to see them. seriously.
but the fact is that, it makes me even more aware of the fact that i'm still unsure of my path in life.
telling them about me doing offshore etc. doesnt really strengthen my belief in making that my future.
sure.. it's cool telling them that i'm involve in the 'hottest' industry rite now.
but there're just so many things i still dunno.
there's so much to learn. so much to find out.
i'm scared. i'm afraid of jumping into something so foreign, so unknown to me...

suddenly i hope i can lean on someone..
someone who could understand wat i'm talking about.
someone who wouldn't laugh at me when i'm making a mistake.
someone who will just let me lean on.

will u lend me ur shoulder?