it's 中秋

the moon is round.

but no moon cake,
no lantern,
no candle,
no sparkles.
(even though i've got a box of 100sparkles in my room)

got home at 9pm from sch.
starving.
mom cooked.
ate a lot.

result:
puke out all.
eat also = no eat.

moral of the story:
dun eat too much.

i dunno why
but i feel very down.
but maybe it's sian-ness.

dunno wat exactly is going on in my life now.
读书不像读书
fyp suppose to start.
but haven
haven even do the readings.
beginning to feel irritated with design project.

had a super long chat with
tadpole from the pond yesterday.
(it's a good code name isnt it, tadpole? =P)

it's really quite enriching.
tadpole always have interesting views.
some i agree some i dun.

but tadpole's personality test is really very 神奇!
just from 3 fav movies
i nv thought it's the case for me
till tadpole pointed it out.

礼尚往来
we practise that.
fed tadpole with bits of my life too
and got some really good advice.

======================================

sometimes i hate myself for being so tough.
maybe it's better to say emotionless.
or maybe it's 没有那么用心.

i shut myself in a shell
to protect myself.
i dun dare to take adventure.
i dare not put in too much heart into anything.

that's why i dun cry easily.
but i realise if i do concentrate real hard.
i'm a born crybaby.

i think there's too much tears bottled up.
maybe i should cry myself to sleep.
it seem more healthy that way.
it's not good to keep the emotions inside.

i think i can high five with tadpole le.
we're the kind of ppl who quietly absorb damage
i think this kind of ppl are stupid.
(i'm scolding myself at the same time.)

coz when the limit's reach.
you cant stop it.
and we prove to be dangerous to ourself.

how much does it take,
to cross over the line?
疯与不疯
there's not much difference isnt it?

tadpole recommended a song on crying.
but i cant seem to find it.

but i found another song.

许哲佩 《疯子》

刷牙我想哭 洗脸我想哭
走路我想哭 静止我想哭
出太阳我想哭 起风我想哭
听歌我想哭 看喜剧我想哭

我控制不住
自己负担太重的情绪
我拒绝面对
结局沉重的问题
我不想听
你给的很多规矩
说了很久的道理
却瞒不了我的心
再压抑再压抑
我快不行..
(天摇地动 昏天暗地)

有眼泪 没眼泪
你觉得我疯了
我瞬间耳鸣 听不见你们说的
我疯言 我疯语
眼泪让我瞎了
模糊我眼前
世界原来快乐要用悲伤换的

可知不知道
伱别想否认
我要的自由能不能够永生
可是我累了
我只好哭了
我像疯子般的不停的哭
我没有出路
伱也当我是个疯子
我是个疯子

interesting song...