Peer Review

was chatting with uncle robson last nite and dunno how we ended up doing peer review for each other.

and we promised we'll not be offended by each other comments.
coz we want to hear the truth and only the truth mah.. hahaha..

but then uncle robson ah... dunno whether is he too nice or wad..
din really write anything shocking to me leh.
and he still say "too used to someone, very hard to find fault"
pengz... then how come i still wrote so much abt u??? :P

and then the things he wrote abt me,
i know it too.

he said i'm too naive, too trusting and give too much to ppl..
i'm cant say i'm not as he said coz that's who i am.

i suppose that's becoz i'm always in a very well protected environment.

imagine a life like this:
when young, stay at home and read storybooks. dun really watch tv. sit beside mother and watch her do work.
primary sch, no doubt went to a neighbourhood sch but before i knew it, went into the 'A' class where every kid is smart and study very hard. cant really get a bad influence from them rite?
sec sch, got into a girls sch. ppl there also very smart and study very hard. sch in amk but hardly go amk central to walk walk. after sch =go home. how bad can a child be there?
jc, one of the top jcs. again everyone is smart. plus the class got lots of indian scholars who are very very smart. everyone is a good student. the most bad we can go is to skip class and cross the road to the hawker center opposite to eat.
uni, everyone is smart and background almost the same. ppl i mixed with also sama sama like me. plus cca is go do comm service. how to meet bad ppl like that?

so i've never done anything real bad or meet with anyone real bad too.

i suppose that's y i am naive rite? i haven met with anything that will change my mind drastically. and when everyone i met with till now has been such good people, it'll be wrong not to trust them rite? how can i doubt people without any proof that they're bad? and when they're ppl so nice, i'll feel bad that i dun give my best to them. afterall, they're my friends. and if i want to help or do anything for anyone, i'll give all i can give.

so by the time i reach the real world, unless i'm super 'heng' till i continue to meet with very good ppl, i'll probably die in real world.

(the most jialet thing is, i actually know this will be my 下场. but i dunno how to change it. i think i can only try to gain experience as fast as possible after i got thrown into the real world. learn the tricks and fast fast dun let ppl trick me too many times.)

but anyway, uncle robson also say i form an impression of people very fast.
that's is so so so true lah!!!
and he also say once an impression is formed, it's very hard for me to change it.
that's another fact lah!

i knew this had been my problem since dunno when lah.
i knew! but dunno how to change.
can i blame it on my character?? for being 爱憎分明?
and then when the impression is formed, i tend to stay away from those whom i know i dun quite like lah. like that i dun interact with them. even harder to change my impression rite?
even though sometimes i may really form a wrong impression of them.
but there're cases which i did change my judgement for ppl from bad to good lah.
but not really one from good to bad.
let face it: when i think someone is good, even when there're times they do not so good stuff, i'll hold on to the impression that they have something good within them.
and maybe it's just me not wanting to admit i made the wrong judgement.
i hate to admit that i'm wrong. i have very thin skin.. :P

ok.... if anyone did manage to go thru the nonsensical chunks above,
well done!
even i dunno wat i'm reading. i think i'm trying to come out with excuses.

just let me sum up wat uncle robson think of me.
naive, too trusting, too giving, daydreamer, emotional and forms impression of ppl too fast.

all of it i agree. totally.
but uncle robson still got this last point:
i could have achieve more in life.

my view on this point is that i've under achieve.
but uncle robson win me in positive thinking this time. he felt that it means that there's more for development.

well, actually i know i can achieve more too.
but it's kind of a dilemma to me.

yes one hand i'll like to achieve more.
be ambitious, join lots of activities, get better results, work harder and gain more etc etc.

however, i want to be a 小女人too.
i dun want to be too smart, achieve too much, be too active or be the 女强人as uncle robson said i could be.

it's such a delicate balance isnt it?
i dun want to appear too 强悍in front of people,
but sometimes i feel that the situations forces me into it.

many times i just want to look stupid and let others take control.
but then when ppl shy away from responsibility i feel the need to come out and help.
dunno how,
slowly i just build up a reputation that i can get things done and ppl expects me to do it.

i think it's the problem with the character.
anyone got suggestions how i can change??

hahahaha.. if anyone want to do a peer review for me,
go ahead!
send me when u're done ok?
i'll appreciate learning from them. :)

and if u want me to do one for u also no problem! hee...

back from prof chan's first lecture this sem.
as usual, compared to other modules i've taken from him,
i fall asleep.
but woke up at the 2nd half of the lecture! hahaha..

tml's going to be a busy day...

P.S. ajeossi, boposshoyo