backache

u can't have everything u want.
and not everything is perfect.

well... thought abt this 2 sentence above while i was preparing soil sample in lab today.
reasons:
1. wat i'm doing doesnt need brains.
2. i'm bored.
3. feel like talking to myself.
4. dun want to sing when all the clay particles are flying around. (i might choke)
5. i'm just totally bo liao...


well.. i was also thinking abt me choosing a lab based fyp. and in the area of geotech.

seriously, geotech isnt really my forte. but i cant deny the fact that i do like this subject quite a lot. i mean, it's interesting! there's nothing we know for sure, nothing we can control definitely.
the soil just surprises us ever now and then~

but then fyp isnt something that's based on interest solely. i kind of regret not giving it more thought when we're deciding which topic we want.

but there're things that i only discover recently. all thanks to the design project and prof choo's module. if not i cant tell for sure that i do have some sort of flare for using computer programs. and i do find it quite interesting too. (even though i kept complaining while doing them, deep inside i know i like it very much. shhhh.... )

so ya. recently i've been contemplating.wat if i've choosen a programming based project instead of the lab based one which i have now. would i have been happier? that i could do the project at a own time own target manner?

so today i started working in lab. after ignoring the FPY for soooo long. and then i realise i'm really happy! weird i know. cause before i started i was rather reluctant to begin. but today i'm just freaking happy.
i sing while working. (erm..when there is no clay particles flying around lah...) i smile a lot. (to myself.. but it could be due to other reasons. somethings i tot abt when working. but shhhhh... not going to tell u what... hahahah.. )

and then i was suppose to lay sand in the container. i suddenly smell sea... u know the kind that's a little saltish and hmmm.. i dunno how to describe. it's just the SEA!

and then it hits me. U cant have everything u want in life.
well yeah, i might be happy working on computer programs trying to work out how forces act on structures etc. but i'm happy working on my soil samples too. i'll be asking too much to want to work on both. so yup wat i'm doing now is fine too.

and then when i was mixing up the slurry clay. my brain decide to compare wat my cousin did last yr with wat i'm doing now. somehow i feel she's having a lot more freedom in doing the project. and me, i listen to wat the phd student tells me and i do it. i dun even collect results on my own. i have to rely on others to give me the data. somehow i longed for a little more freedom. but i also do know that if i get this 'freedom' which i want, i probably wont be starting on my fyp at all. coz i procrastinate too much...

so the 2nd sentence hit me then. not everything is perfect.
while i cant do the programming. i'm happy with the lab work. and while i'm happy with the lab, i cant expect to have total freedom either. but while i dun have the freedom, i shld be thankful that at least i've got someone to guide me.

so yup. i cant expect it to be a perfect world.

and yeah. the world is not perfect coz i'm suffering backache from bending too much during lab. it's torturous bending the back to scoop the clay from one container to another. and i had to do it for 2 sample which contain at least 30kg of clay each. so my back hurts! but i gather that i'll probably have really good 腰力 by the end of this fyp. good training!

anyway, i tried doing something really stupid today on the way home. was hoping for miracle but it din happen. still too fast. shld have missed one more train. the ride might be more interesting then.

hmmm.. i'm pretty long-winded today!

P.S. ajeossi, boposshoyo