read too much...

had a recap of my past memories when i re-read my old blog today...
hahaha.. wat a big change it is from since i enter uni to now.
from before the start to after the end...

there's lots of things that i've already forgotten.
hahaha.. some that even after reading i cant quite recall what happen too..
what a lousy memory i have.

sometimes i wish i'm still the 笨笨的old me...
it's probably the trick to happiness. =)
the way i think and write is sooo much different last time compared to now...

sometimes i think if u've never experience it before.
u wont desire for more after.
hahaha... humans are just plain greedy.
once u try u cant forget.
and u just want to hold on to more...

it brings me back to the old qn of :
3mths extreme happiness followed by long long time of sadness
or
no extreme happiness and constant all the way.

if it's really possible, i rather take the 2nd option.
but most of the time, life leads u on.
ppl will just follow the course of nature..
(unless u talk abt extremely discipline ppl.)

i miss the time when i can truly call myself an
unfeeling person.
someone who's 铁石心肠，没心没肝
someone who can control her emotions absolutely.

sometimes i wish i never been in a relationship before
so i wouldnt have learn how to give the heart away.
bcoz everytime when i try to recover my heart back
a portion is lost somewhere.

i must stat building up my walls again.
i need protection.
if i cant find it from others then i must provide it on my own.
i'm always feeling insecure.
so the walls should provide me some.

hiding inside the walls dun sound like a good solution.
but i still think that's the best place to be.
i shall return back to the unfeeling me.
=)

missed the outing with the gers today.
hope they'll come out another time soon.