I'm a lousy friend...

i dunno why but recently i've being thinking wat kind of friend i am...
i'm hopeless with making friends too..
being lazy.. i dun make the first step of stepping out to say hi.
unless u talk to me, or i wont talk to u.
horrible isnt it..
and guess i've to admit i'm not the best kind of friend to have.. in fact a really lazy friend.
i dun really express concerns for my friends.. hardly bothers to make contact with them..
just dun think i put in effort to keep my friends..
wat i do is exactly the opposite of wat i want to be..
i want to be a good friend.. a caring friend.. a friend who's there when u want it.
but i dunno y i'm not..
it's not that difficult i believe.. but i'm just shy and unwilling to stretch out that hand..
re-read tuesdays with morrie... and this sentence caught me..
"We will hold hands."
yes... i want to be able to hold hands with my friends when we're old... and thru the action of holding hands we'll be able to communicate our minds..
i'm obviously not talking sense here already.. it's funny how i can talk nonsense even though i din take any alcohol...
it's raining heavily outside now... dark and gloomy.. but hahaha.. just nice my gor is back.. and back to bother me with all the stuff he buys... so now i got to go figure out how to use that new phone he bought... =)